Category Archives for Blog

Detox and Declutter Workshop

I am excited to lead the Detox & Declutter Workshop at Bar Cardio Fitness Studio on March 25th (8:30-10am). [register here: https://www.facebook.com/events/179040609261617/]

The Detox workshop has always been my most attended and loved workshop. The intention is to make a short term commitment to detox your diet so that you have a clean slate so to speak. Our bodies can build up junk and toxins in our day to day lives. A gentle detoxification can help keep your body running efficiently and even gain strength against colds and illnesses and injuries everyone encounters from time to time.

The second half of the workshop we will talk about Decluttering. Most of the time we think about TV shows like Hoarders, or we think of kitchen and closet organization systems when we think of decluttering, but in this workshop we will talk more about things that get in your way of making healthy choices, creating good habits, and planning ahead so you are in charge of your health instead of feeling frazzled and deprived.

What can expect to take away from the workshop:

  • A Book of Detox Recipes
  • A 2-week customized diet plan
  • Simple and easy tips to declutter
  • Fun company in a relaxed environment (Maybe even Mimosas)

The cost is $20 plus about an hour and a half of your time March 25th from 8:30 to 10am.

Looking forward to seeing you there!  Space is limited, so be sure to register and pay in advance to hold your spot!

Missy

Below is the link to register for fitness classes and workshops held at the Bar Cardio Studio.

https://barcardio.com/register-online

Planning Meals and the Chaos Hour

More than anything else, I get asked about meal planning. So few people actually plan their family's meals ahead of time. For many, there is this chaos in the evening as mom comes in from work or picking up kids where back packs and briefcases are getting put away and papers are needing signed, homework is getting done.....the chaos hour! Meanwhile, the fridge and pantry are getting opened and ransacked in hopes some easy and delicious meal will be ready to throw together.

I have bought several meal plans from meal planning experts. I have also sat down to plan a month of meals to meet my tight budget and spent hours just figuring out what to make, the grocery list, and the cost. I would love to say I found the perfect solution. But I haven't. And many evenings are just like I described when I started. We end up heating a bag of frozen vegetables and throwing some burger patties on the indoor grill.

Here is what I have learned over the last 20 years of meal planning. Most people cook/eat the same 5-15 meals over and over again. Healthy or not, they are easy to make and please the most people so they get used over and over. Some examples in my home are: Spaghetti, tacos, fajitas, beef and broccoli, burgers, shrimp fried rice.

From my clients, the list is more like; frozen lasagna, pizza delivery, sloppy Joes, frozen meals, mac and cheese. It is clear to me that most folks want something easy and in less than 30 minutes.

I have tried many new recipes that the whole family likes, but some meals just don't get made again and again. And there are some that the kids complain we make too often, but they are easy and familiar so they stay.

Here are some tips to make your meal planning simple and to avoid the 6 o'clock chaos.

First: Make a list of the meals you cook over and over again.

Second: List what ingredients you need to make those meals.

Third: Write out how long it takes to make each meal and if it leaves any leftovers.

You want meal plans so your dinner hour is less stressed and more healthy. So find ways to add some healthiness to the list of meals you already make. For example: add a salad, add an extra side of mixed veggies, use half the cream sauce, bake instead of fry.

To add some variety, add a new recipe every other week. To make the hour less crazy, plan the meals for upcoming week before the week starts. For me, I do this on Sunday afternoon. I pull out my calendar for the week ahead, I do a quick visual inventory of my fridge, freezer and pantry, and then I sit down to plan the week.

On the nights we have a lot going on and we may not all sit down to eat together, I plan to have sandwiches or something from the crock pot. On the nights we have no plans, I try to make a big dinner with leftovers. In the fall, I plan more stews and soups and use my crockpot quite a bit. In the summer we will grill up dinner a couple nights a week. I try to only use the oven when the house is cool.

The best way to plan meals is to just sit down and plan them. Make the time and think ahead when you aren't feeling rushed. And don't feel bad if you don't stick to the plan exactly. Most weeks I rearrange a few meals for some reason or another, but it is easier to rearrange plans than to come up with plans from nothing while everyone is cranky and hungry.

Do you have meal planning tips?  Comment below, I would love to hear them!

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Happy reNEWal Year!


I think I will begin my "new year" planning this month.

I know we are just over the halfway hump of 2014, but I am feeling the need for renewal like the new year brings. It is back to school time and a new year for all the students. We have great (sometimes a little hot) weather to get outside to walk, ride, or play, and we have the wonderful harvest time at the markets. THIS is the time to renew and start big things, right?

OK, I said it, and now I have to do it. But I'm feeling bogged down. Summer daycare costs pushed my budget to it's limit. Later sunsets pushed dinner later and somehow added late night snacks and fun drinks into my evening. We seemed to order in or make convenience foods more than I would like to admit this summer which has added a little cushion to our midsections.

Meanwhile, I am on the fast track to growing my business and retiring my husband. But, I am not to the "WOO-HOO lots of extra income" part as much as the "Oh Boy lots of extra work and not much time for me" part.

So I sit here thinking how I can make this month my reNEWal month. My month of planning out big growth and development for my home, my self, and my business.

I will do the thing that most coaches do when trying to figure things out.....I ask myself what advice I would give my client with this situation and desire.

My coaching hat is on and I have turned the tables.

This is where I ask myself all my coachy questions.

    • What does your day look like when it is running perfectly for your personal life, business life, and home life?
    • What are you doing now that is working well and in alignment with your perfect day?
    • What are you doing now that is NOT working well and NOT in alignment with your perfect day?
    • What can you delete from your day without causing burden but rather bring peace or reduce stress?
    • What can you do today and everyday that will make the next day a little easier?
    • What can you do tomorrow or some other time in the future instead of today to make your life a little easier?

Just answer the questions....be sure to write down your answers....then read through and see if you can make any changes either in action or perception for your life.

I plan to answer these and dig deep to create my plan for renewal. I will keep you updated to what I come up with. I hope you don't mind me sharing my trials and processes with you.

If you skimmed this and made it to here I'd like to summarize that I am declaring September 1st ReNEWal Year Day. Instead of New Year Resolutions I suggest Renewal Year Results and Reconfiguration.

Imagine how on top of things we will be come January 1st 2015.

I promise to show you my plan next week. I would love it if you shared yours with me. Or just your answers to my "coachy questions". I feel like there should be a countdown to the end of August now. Maybe a big pumpkin dropping or something.

Keep it simple.

Missy

P.S. There are less than 2 weeks left in August, so if you want to start fresh September 1st, start planning now.

I Can’t Do It All!

I feel like I get all the never-ending jobs at home. The dishes, the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping and the planning. This ship is smooth sailing, but with a lot of effort.

There once was a time that I took great pride in how together my home ran. Like a well oiled machine. Like a brand new car. But now if feels more like an old Buick with 300,000, miles. It certainly isn’t pretty anymore. And no matter how clean it is, it still looks messy. What happened?

I just want a break.

I NEED a break.

I’ve been a mom for 18 years. In the beginning it was beautiful. It started when I was pregnant. I would plan out the meals for the week, write out the grocery list, clean the house from top to bottom every day. I knew what bills were due when and they were paid with plenty of time to spare.

I was the one that brought the amazing salad and deviled eggs to every BBQ or friendly get together. I was able to find the best sales, and second-hand stores to keep my home on the tight budget; I kept it meticulously. I had every detail covered. It was simply beautiful.

But these days it is different. I have six kids living in three homes who are all into sports and activities. Schedules are never consistent and there are always last minutes disasters and events. I sometimes forget to pay a bill and get a late notice. It seems that the low fuel light is always on when I am running late and have a dozen places to be. And the fridge is always filled with what once was a healthy vegetable but is past edible and on the slimy side (sorry, gross, I know).

Our budget is not near as tight and thank goodness because I have no idea what sales are going on and I usually shop at the very last minute for clothes and supplies that the family knows they need but don't tell me until the last minute. I just want some help.

This whole mom thing was so much easier when we had no money and I had no dreams outside of creating a loving home.

I took for granted that it was easy because it was my whole life. It was NOT easy.

Plus, I was in my early 20’s and my dreams consisted of a healthy baby or two, a happy husband, a clean and organized home with maybe a full nights sleep once in a while.

Today my dreams are filled with running my business, supporting my husbands dreams, kids who are responsible, caring, and independent, wine once in a while, sushi a little more often, and a clean sink.

When I think back to how good it felt to be living my dream with my tiny and healthy babies and my small but organized home I wonder how that felt so damn good then and now it is not enough.

I want more.

I want both worlds.

And there is my problem.

I can’t get all the jobs done in my two lives-two worlds. I must choose or find a compromise. I don’t want to compromise.

I LOVE my current dream. My dream 20 years ago was great, but I did it, I created it, and quite well I might add.

Then a few major life changes occurred and I went from living my dream to just trying to survive. To be quite honest, in hindsight I can see that my dream changed and so did my world but my day-to-day did not. That was when life started getting hairy and struggles really kicked in. I felt lost and left behind.

I noticed friends and coworkers who seemed to have the perfect life-and it wasn’t what I thought a perfect life looked like. They we’re creating and growing and exploring. They didn’t care about diapers or dishes or PTA.

They had a life that seemed to be for them, not others. I wanted that, but felt it was selfish.

It is a strange thing to hold yourself to different standards than others and not think it is egotistical.

I didn’t judge them for not putting their family first, but I judged myself for dreaming of that life. I don’t recall wondering if they were once like me where their family and home came first. But I am sure it is part of "growing up", of becoming you.

So, how do they let that old world go and grasp the new world so eloquently?

How do they change who they are and what their dreams look like and still keep all the good stuff?

I ask myself these questions and I wonder if I am the only one who is stuck in between dreams due to an anchor to a lovely life built in the past and an unsure future filled with excitement, dreams and a lot more work?

Then I take a look at all my clients’ issues and obstacles. They come to me in their 30's, 40's and 50's struggling with weight gain, digestion issues, stress overload and just plain exhausted. And I give them support and suggestions and permission to be themselves. I give them permission to make mistakes, to be lazy, to delegate their responsibilities and to take some time to relax. To really dig into what it is they want to feel.

BAM!   There it is.   Like most experts I didn't even listen to my own advice.

I bet I have spoken to a hundred women feeling just like I do in the past few months. Stuck between dreams and expectations. Running in circles to meet all the expectations that they don't even realize come from themselves-not others. I

It is time to make my life MY LIFE.

This brings me to a book I have been working on for several years. A system and a strategy to a simpler life where your dreams and desires are important and respected. I am still working out the name, but right now I call it 3D Life. The 3D's are Delete, Delegate, and Design. I simplify your day-to-day by helping you discover what to and how to delete, delegate, and design the parts of your life that cause you the most stress.

Creating a system that frees up your time (good) and your peace of mind (better) so you can live your dream life (Hell yeah!). I promise I will let you know more information about this book soon (which I am making into an online course for your convenience).

First, I think I need to go through and get myself (back) on track. The great part about my system is that as your life and life's obstacles change, you can easily run through the system again to bring you back to simply and peacefully living your dream life.

If any of this sounds familiar, if you can relate, I probably don't need to say this last bit because you get it. But I feel like I should clarify a few points. I love my life, my kids, my home and my husband. I don't want this to post to sound like a complaint or a pity fest or pity request. When I say I don't want to put my family first I don't mean that I am quitting or letting go of my responsibilities.

Over the past 18 years I have been raising responsible and independent kids into adults. I have instilled values, taught trust, and shared love with my family in the best way I am able. I am not giving up on them. They don't need me like they did, and I should be proud of that. I should be proud enough that living for me and for my dreams will add more value, trust, and love to my family. Because I surely want them to always feel like they should pursue their dreams.

I would love to hear your comments and feedback. This was a tough post to write for me.

Diet Ads Debunked

Drop 15 Pounds this month!   Flat Sexy Abs!  30 Day Total Body Transformation!   Torch Mega Calories in 15 Minutes!   Tone Your Trouble Zones!

If only the advertisers were as good and creating good health as they are at promoting easy ways to look thin. I see these ads and it really frustrates me. So many of my clients bring me a laundry list of all these kind of weight-loss miracles that did not work for them. And they feel like failures or like they didn't try hard enough.

WRONG! Oh so wrong.

I hate that these "simple solutions" make you work your butt off, don't show much results AND leave you feeling like you should have "tried harder" or that nothing will ever work for you. Let me tell you a little secret. Those companies want you to spend money.

I know, duh, right?

But they really don't care at all if you get healthier or lose weight or firm up. Why should they? If you figure out how to do that then they lose you as a customer.

So, you may wonder why some of these programs actually work.

Well, you may not like my answer, but it is based on the placebo effect. Yep, it is not the products, it is just in your head.

Ready for my solution for you to do it without the products and promises that cost you money, are confusing and require tons of effort?

  • First, write down What your goal is and Why. The “why” is the heavy part of that. My most successful clients are successful because of the “why” and many don’t even really have a very defined “what”.
  • Second, decide what you think is the right kind and amount of foods to eat. Not what you read or what someone else says, listen to your body. What foods make you feel good during and after eating them? How many times a day do you really feel like you should eat? How big should each meal be?
  • Third, what do you enjoy doing that is active? Walking? Riding a bike? Playing a sport? Work the things you enjoy doing into your schedule. This is a great way to exercise without feeling like you are exercising. Also, a great way to manage stress.
  • Speaking of stress, Forth, is managing stress. Let me tell you that everyone has stress. And, different levels for different reasons. What you need to do is find a few relaxing activities that allow your body, mind and soul to rejuvenate. I like yoga, taking a bath, getting a massage and reading. Mmmmm, those make me feel god and allow my mind and my muscles to just let go.

Even with these 4 steps you may still need a little more help. That is ok. Find a friend or partner to support you with your goals. Be sure it is someone you can share you “why” with. Then, have them keep you accountable. Check in with you daily and weekly goals. Celebrate your success no matter how big or small. And adjust what you are doing to do more of what works and adjust or get rid of what doesn’t.

So, are you ready to skip the magazine ad promises and make your own goals?

Let me know what your goals are and why. Comment below and share them with me. If you feel like you are ready to get serious and hire a coach then give me a call to set up a strategy session and let’s chat about it. Most people start with a two month commitment to work with me. I would love to show you how to Simplify Your Health.

​Ready to get started now?  Sign up for a Health Strategy Session by calling Missy at 417-893-0501 or email Missy@MyMomentumFitness.com

Are you listening?

You shouldn't live on a diet. I hear the phrase, "I'm not dieting, it is a lifestyle," but what you eat should not be what makes your lifestyle. What you eat should fit in your lifestyle. I feel like we have this whole living thing backwards, or at least all mixed up.

We are bombarded with theories and routines that encourage:
  • eating three to six times a day
  • counting calories
  • measuring grams of fat, protein, and carbohydrates.

We are supposed to read labels for those terrible ingredients that we don't understand. We are told to avoid certain foods or ingredients and blame entire food groups for our weight, blood tests and lack of energy.

What if I am not hungry at noon?

What if my body needs a little more energy than what my diet budgets?

Our bodies don't burn the exact same amount of energy every day, yet I know people who eat very close to the same number of calories every single day!

I studied over 150 dietary theories for my health coach training and I wonder what in the world we are trying to accomplish!

Do you think third world countries follow any of these diets? Have they even heard of them. What about first world counties just a century ago? How did they know what to eat if they weren't told about carbohydrates, glycemic index or even serving size?

I will give you a hint, they listened to their bodies rather than the TV or radio. Instead of trying dozens of "lifestyle changes" (read diets) why not slow down, take a deep breath and close your eyes.

Now, just listen.

Not just with your ears, but with your mouth, skin, tummy, nose, head....your whole body.

Does your tummy gurgle and feel bloated after every meal? No?

Do you crash everyday at 2pm or just after you eat drive thru food?

Do you feel best when you eat burgers and brats from the grill with your friends in the back yard?

Instead of counting calories and reading labels on those packaged foods, try reading your body and your symptoms (or lack there of) when you eat. Take note of where, when and with whom you eat meals with. Those are the ingredients that most seem to forget. Walk through the produce section or farmers market and let your nose guide you rather than coupons, sales and diet programs. Plan meals with the seasons and day to day needs. You don't need a grand buffet dinner every week. A few times a year-sure! Celebrate! Indulge! Feast! But on a Tuesday night after skipping lunch.....not a good choice.

There are times when we should eat less and times when we should have seconds. But don't make those choices based on how much money you spent or how everyone around you is eating or because you feel down. So stop focusing on the foods you are supposed to eat or are supposed to avoid and start focusing on your body. What does your body crave? 

We crave slow digesting foods in the cold weather to keep our body warm and fast digestion and hydrating foods in the hot weather.Do you think any there are any watermelon binges in February in North Dakota? But watermelon won't last long in Florida in August. Listen to your body. You may have been ignoring your body signals for so long that you need help reading the signs. Your body may need to re-learn to give you signals after years of being ignored.

Communication is key to any relationship. This includes your body and your brain.

Learning to listen to your body is like finding the perfect pair of jeans that fit perfectly​.  You feel good, you look good, and you are comfortable.  

Also, your body probably doesn't know what those packaged and processed foods are, so give your body whole, real foods so it can communicate better with you.  ​

One last thing, don't let your body image speak louder than your body.  Love your body all the time and it will love you back.  I promise.​

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Fear and Friendship

A 40 year fear

Warning, this post starts out vague, but stick with it.

I leave in 3 weeks for San Diego and I’m excited to see my sister and to attend a workshop for my business. But, I fear I won’t look like the girls do in SoCal. They are all about looking gorgeous, and that, I am afraid, is not something I am familiar with.

I know what I need to do and where I need to go to look better, but I don't want to go. I deeply dread it. So many people seem to love going and they always look great. But when I go, if I go, I sometimes don’t even get out of my car. I sit in the parking lot and try to persuade myself to go in. But most of the time I just go to Starbucks or a drive thru and promise myself I will go tomorrow.

Finally, I get the nerve. I feel nervous and insecure. I am sure everyone is looking at me and wondering why I’m there. I don’t look anything like the other people that seem so at home here. I shouldn’t have come—who cares how I look anyway?

I start off by wondering around as if I know what I am doing. Then I see her, she comes towards me and asks if I need help. I freeze up and say, “No, thanks.” Then I dart off to the restroom where I waste as much time as I can before sneaking back out to my car. Why is this so hard for me?

Think I am talking about the gym? Nope. This is how I feel about shopping. Yes, shopping for clothes, shoes, or accessories.

After 40 years of avoiding clothes shopping and feeling clueless about fashion, I think I’m finally feeling more confident. But it took a long time and some really dear friends.

For me, I feel comfortable as soon as I step into the gym. Some gyms are intimidating and others more casual, but no matter what, I know what I’m doing there and I can manage just about any piece of equipment or fitness class. I’m pretty open to learn from others and to share my expertise. But one step into a clothing store….Especially those big ones with tons of racks of discount clothes, and I am toast.

Here is how I feel:

At the mall or any establishment where clothes or accessories are sold, I feel nervous and insecure. I am sure everyone is looking at me and wondering why I'm there. Wondering if I know how unstylish I am and maybe even thinking that I know what I'm shopping for. But I don’t know what I am doing.

I never know how to shop. I walk in and I feel a change in the air. It smells different, the lighting is weird and the clothes look strange. My stomach gets knotted and I freeze up.
I feel like the sales people don't really want to help me because I'm too much work. I don’t understand their language - fashion jargon and extended color naming is way over my head. Plus, I don’t ever think about accessories like shoes, purses or jewelry. No clue here.

I usually leave the store exhausted and feeling old and insecure. I rarely get what I go there for and I wonder why any woman in the world would do this on purpose.

This week, a good friend took me shopping. She dressed casually in a ball cap, a cotton top and shorts. She stayed nearby and asked me what I like. I thought she was going to just tell me what to buy, but she did not. She showed me some different tops and somehow read my mind, or possibly my face grimaces about which I had no interest in.

After I relaxed a little she showed me some things she thought I would like. They looked weird, but she said to just try them on and see. So I did. Some looked good and some did not. But each try-on got easier. Then I began to chime in about colors or styles I liked more. The time seemed to go more quickly and my “yes” pile started growing. My stomach was still in knots and my fear was only muted some, but I managed to buy 7 or 8 outfits for my trip to San Diego.

Ahhhh. It felt good to overcome that fear.


I am not sure if I can do it by myself, but I am sure I can call my dear friend when I need to go again.

When I think about those I’ve trained or coached, I wonder if this is what she goes through (or avoids going through) at the gym. When I meet her at the gym and I can see it in her eyes and body language; it looks just like all the same things I feel when I’m shopping. Fear, insecurity, overwhelm, and ignorance. And I know why I am there.

I am there to gently guide her and protect her and get her through it nice and easy. I understand that the exercises are not what she fears. The sore muscles are not a concern. She is insecure about a world that is not hers. Where she is supposed to go to feel and look good. A place that is supposed to improve her health and reduce her stress, but she feels stress from the moment she commits to meet me at the gym. She feels uncomfortable and out of her element until I can create a comfortable and safe place for her in the world that I feel most comfortable.

My goal is to make you feel at ease. To feel empowered about overcoming your fears. Walking into the gym (or for me the mall) is very tough. The excuses are endless for not going; costs too much, too busy, no time, too crowded, worries about doing it wrong, fear of judgment. You will breathe a little easier when you have a guide that will assure your security and comfort. I will be your native tour guide.

Contact me if you are intimidated by anything that is between you are your health goals.

Missy@MyMomentumFitness.com

Success and Failure

Failure versus Success: This is such an interesting thing to me. When we fail at a goal or task we feel horrible. We are disappointed, and deflated and spend time reviewing where we went wrong and what we could do differently. But when we succeed, we feel like we shouldn’t brag, we credit all those who support us and we move on to the next goal with not much more than a little extra oomph in our spirit.

Why not feel the same for both success and failure? After all, most great successes were at the end of many failures with edits, updates and reorganization. It may not seem as glamorous to fail as it is to succeed, but I don’t think it is really failing.

Failing, to me, is not doing anything to reach for your goals.

If I just wrote my goals on a piece of paper and did nothing to pursue them then I WILL FAIL. But any attempts to accomplish those goals is definitely success, right? The point where your goal is complete is the end, not the beginning.

When I work on my goals, I put in my head that I may fail or succeed at each step. But each step is success no matter the outcome. Keep moving, right? Or as the famous Dori says from Finding Nemo, “Keep Swimming”. It is hard to know what works and what doesn’t if you don’t try anything.

Another imbalance when it comes to failure versus success and winning versus losing is in those close matches. Say you come in second place in a race by half a second. How are you not a winner? Is this not a success?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not an advocate of the new everyone is a winner concept, but instead, show what it is you gain by playing the game. If you are playing the game to get the trophy than your success is limited. If you are playing the game because you love it and want to continually improve then you are a winner-you are successful.

There are plenty of times you may find success or win when you barely try and then there are times you almost win or almost succeed and you will feel a rush! A rush of adrenaline that will fuel your journey to success. This, to me is the ultimate trophy, prize, and success. Man, I am pumped just talking about this.

I wish we had better terms and understanding of the growth and journey in reaching goals. Artists will credit their muse. Athletes will credit their coach. Stars will credit their agent.

But your passion is the igniter. Passion is the fuel for success.

Doing what excites you and not measuring the outcome but rather measuring the journey and all the steps along the way will ensure a feeling of winning, of success and of freedom.

A date with your daughter

It is so important to spend time with your kids in a way where you both feel equal. In the relationship between parent and child there are so many ways the child is looking for approval, nurturing and praise.

The parent also looks to the child for innocence, energy and a glimpse into the child they once were. These are great and appropriate for the parent and the child. I think that we (as parents) also need to spend time on a level playing field with out kids. Get down on the floor and roll play dough between your fingers like they do. Open up the coloring book and get out the crayons and markers for some fun art.

Instead of sitting on the bench at the park, climb the monkey bars and swing in the swings. Nothing makes you feel younger than spending some time playing at the playground. You may be sore the next day, but it will be worth it.

Add to that a date night with your child. I think it is important for fathers (or other male role models) to take daughters on dates and mothers (or other female role models) to take sons on dates. This should be an age appropriate version of a grown up date.

Some ideas are:

  • mini golf and a burger joint,
  • Skating rink and ice cream,
  • an art show and a long drive through the country.

Spending time together on a level playing field is an amazing nurturing experience for both of you. Sometimes a child feels so much pressure to follow all the rules and stay out of the way of adults that they don’t get a chance to see who you really are. And beyond the discipline and education, it is vital that we teach out kids how important it is to love who they are.

The best way to give them this lesson is to:

​First: Be who you are in front of them and be comfortable doing it.

Second: Allow them to be themselves in front of you and show them how much you love their authenticity.​

​I remember when my older boys were at the gym playing basketball while I was doing my workout upstairs. I watched them shooting hoops for a few minutes and they asked if it was time to leave. I said, let’s play some HORSE first. They kinda laughed and said, ah, sure mom. So we each took our turns and played a round. We really had a good time and I think after they got over the surprise that their short mom could shoot a basket, they realized that being a mom doesn’t mean I am not competitive or fun or any other stereotypes kids have about “old folks”.

​I am not saying be best friends with your kids. But I think a good parent can be their kids friend and parent. As long as the kid and parent both know the boundaries and expectations.

Buy your daughter some flowers or some jewelry for no reason.

I love this suggestion because my dad rarely did this for my mom and I think that may be why I feel uncomfortable and unsure when my husband buys me a gift for no reason. My dad is a wonderful father and was a great husband to my mom. He was just not one to buy gifts very often. I do remember every once in a while he would drive me to his favorite burger place and we would each get a burger, fries and Coke and spend time together. That meant a lot to me. I also remember as an adult my dad buying me earrings once. I wish he would have done a few more things like that for me. Again, I am not complaining, my dad rocks, but I do want my kids to have it even better than I did.

Whether you have great memories of your relationship with your own parents or not, I am sure you want to create better memories for your children about your relationship with them. Try some of these suggestions or some of your own ideas. I assure you that the experience will be beneficial beyond explanation.

Please comment below with your experiences or ideas to share with others. This is such a simple habit to start with a huge return on investment. Remember, we teach our kids how to treat others and how they should expect to be treated. Lead by example.

Missy Martin, Holistic Health Coach and Founder of My Momentum Fitness, LLC​

How to Find The Right Coach for You

Do you need a Coach?

People who hire coaches are success oriented people. Tiger Woods, Donald Trump, Oprah Winfrey, and so many other successful in their field have hired people to fine tune and elevate their talents. Coaching is a tight focus on your current skills to improve them even more.

Hiring a personal trainer or coach to make personal or business, or fitness improvements is a big investment. One thing most people don't realize is that elevating your current level in any genre is very intimidating. For one, when you make the choice to hire someone you may be at a plateau in your development. As a coach, I see that as a success and I want to use the momentum that got you to this point to launch you to your next phase.

Here are some things to consider when hiring a coach:

  1. What is their motivation style? A really good coach will get to know you and your motivation style. But it may be even more beneficial to find a coach who's main motivation style matches your own. I use a motivation quiz to determine my clients motivation style. In most cases I am able to determine their style in our interview and I give the quiz to find out the level of the motivation style.
  2. Does the coach have a thorough interview process to determine your needs? If your coach doesn't ask how you got where you are now, what are your current goals in addition to asking why you set your goals the way you did then you may not get the results you want from him/her. Most people know the what and the how but forget about their why. A good coach will focus on the why and use the what and how you are most familiar with or had the best success. I like simple exercises because they increase growth. I'm pretty sure that brand new golfers and 30 year veteran golfers both go to the driving range. Same exercise, but it grows with you.
  3. What are the coaches expectations of you? Coaches have goals too. If their goals don't align with your own, there may be trouble. If you have business coach who's goals is to increase his client's income by 200% in three months but your goals is to improve customer service quality, then he may be pushing you in ways that don't align with your goal. They may also have more services or training programs available and their coaching is geared to prepare you for the next level. Get this information up front and be clear. Those level up programs and coaches goals may serve you better and they may not. A good coach will want to use the best skills he/she has to get you to your goals.
  4. What are the agreement terms? Be sure to get an agreement in writing and look it over completely before signing. Before signing any agreement I like to ask what questions or concerns come up most often with their clients. Be sure you understand all the terms in the agreement. What constitutes a session? How are you charged? What is included in the communication between you and the coach?
  5. Ask for testimonials and referrals. This is a great way to see and hear what others say but keep in mind that your coach will only offer the best testimonials. It is a good idea to ask about any clients that canceled early or were not happy with their service. This is a touchy subject but when asked you can usually determine if the coach or trainer is disappointed that they were not able to help a client or if they blame the client.

    I find that most people choose a coach or trainer based on a referral from someone they know. That is great because you can find out some information before meeting the coach. Go ahead and get at least three referrals and make plans to interview with potential coaches.

    The problem for most people is that they are anxious to start seeing results so they choose an immediate start date before find the right coach. This is a big mistake. You will waste a lot of time if you choose the wrong coach and you may feel stuck or not leave because you are already invested.

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